I dont shave on purpose to keep myself from being slutastic!! it usually works
I swear she didn't look like that last week.
i learned a valuable lesson last night. sometimes nice girls finish first. twice.
he threw up on me, hugged my legged and then started laughing. when i asked him why, he said "it's like the sour patch kids commercials."
I'm treating myself to a " uve slept with yet another mr. Wrong" breakfast
I've already made the "blackout on move in day" decision
You got kicked out after 30 minutes, 3 beers and 2 shots. Group record. Also you kept rubbing his belly and calling him buddha.
If making out with three guys at once at a Kesha concert while simultaneously smearing glitter all over yourself doesn't convince her you're gay, nothing will
Also I like this area. Lots of places for me to get tacos.
As I was puking, these 2 guys started peeing next to me chanting me on
I've been back for one day and I've already given two bjs. Improvement from last year.
You bring me burritos. Of course I text you during sex
A huge penis doesn't warm the soul. Or that's what I've had to tell myself.
His wedding band got caught on my nipple ring and that's how I realized he was married
Her handjob consisted of slapping me in the balls. I am never hooking up with her ever again ever.
Randomize
