i can juggle bunnies
cool
on fire
I got a lot accomplished today, and the day is still young! I built a fort, hot boxed a fort, had a tea party in a fort, and now realizing how high I am.
if pee wee herman would have taken a snuggie to the movies he wouldnt have gotten caught
Whoever decided to wrap my shins in duck tape owes me new leg hair.
I joked that if anyone could fuck a 35 year old woman while wearing head bands and arm sweat bands it's you and look what happens.
Instead of medicine they should just give ecstasy. Also I'm tingly and can't find u guys. A gay man just said he loved me... :( / :)
your blue lips and tongue was their first indication you were probably underage
HEY THERE IS NO AGE LIMIT ON BLUE SLUSHIES
So I just sent my ex a video snap chat of me getting head from some Venezuelan hottie with the caption I still love you. Think she'll take me back?
his daughter has his phone and goesss ohhh boobies and shows me a picture of my own tits...
Sarah is throwing up still and I'm eating salad with my fingers
Watching a bear prancing around in a tiara is worth a loss of bar time.
Sexual favors are the only currency recognized by the Republic of Greg
So I just got motorboated by my grandma…
I got fucked in a bat mobile this morning. Being slutty rules.
Which one have i been cheating ON and which one have i been cheating WITH if i met them the same night & have been dividing time equally?
Randomize
