Sex on a kitchen table is not as amazing as they make is seem in the movies.
ugh. people who use coupons make me wanna punch a baby.
There are the 2 BIGGEST tools by me-- at our table. I hate them. But they're not ugly and I may make out with them later. And hate myself. Definitely hate myself.
I just don't get it. Video games don't suck his dick.
Before you ask, yes. Whatever you're wearing IS too slutty for his mom's funeral.
so I'm coping with getting the "I'm not over my ex" bomb dropped on me by getting drunk and yelling at people while wearing a purple princess hat
It's a special occasion. Hence the 151.
Drinking vodka straight out of a beer bottle because I don't want to be judged. Not my best idea and not my worst.
You're obviously not trying hard enough. GET LAID. Kittens die for less.
Touche salesman.
Seriously. My vagina. Can we talk about it? It's gonna jump off this treadmill and devour my trainer.
Everyone called me "Barf Vader".. And I lost your lightsaber.
It's cool dude. The dank is in the form of premade smores with honey grahm crackers, marshmallow cream and 420 brand choc. bars. NV weed laws have nothing on me.
All I know is if i get a free preview weekend of HBO then I am recording Kindergarten Cop.
He's throwing Skittles into my cleavage and some are rebounding into my crouch.
Well he's scoring either way then.
Do you ever just want to be mashed potatoes?
Randomize
