dude you just took shreks wife home. what the fuck is wrong with you
when a bears hungry he eats besides shes got her nipples pierced
In the car with my brother. His CD went from 2pac to Taylor Swift. I'm concerned. It wasn't a mistake, he knows all the words.
If Rob Pattinson gets another fucking MTV award, I'm going to vomit.
Before he took my jeans off all he said was "no hard feelings from middle school right?"
I'm out of vodka and money. My semester is officially over. The way I see it, my finals are just forms I need to fill out in order to leave campus.
You have proved your worthiness to join me on the quest of taking shots at every academic building on campus by showing up drunk to our test at 12:30 today
My ex was here I looked him in the eyes when I grabbed some other guy by his belt and dragged him to a room
Why do you think it's a no-pants party?
Invite says "dress to impress". Her fault for leaving it open to interpretation.
RA just said I set the all time record for a student who lost houseing..30min..I was moveing out while my new roomate was moveing in. know of any off campous places to stay??
I was super naked---except I kept my shoes on, because I'm a lady, and I was bent over a bar.
That guy was drunk and couldn't get it up so he just tried to scissor me.
I just need you to stay far enough away that I can't smell your cologne. I completely forget that I fucking hate you as soon as I smell it.
And now you know why we call him Three-Balls Brad
I fucked his roommate. And that roommate's best friend. And my roommate. And my roommate's old roommate.
i'm bowing down, but slow your roll.
Have you had an orgasm with an n95 mask on yet? It was better than being choked.
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