so i am drinking whiskey and watching home alone 2 by myself. it turns out moving to a foreign country isn't all that different after all.
looking back it was a good thing we were too wasted to fire up the chainsaw
The fairy wings and cowboy hats were not the issue. The bag of cocaine that I held in the air as we drove in the parade might have been.
She texted me shhh....im drunk, secret booty call...how could i say no?
We found her on a strangers doorstep chanting "I know someone will let me in" it took 2 of us to drag her to the car.
I spent the whole party making out with some guy. He wasn't that cute but six of my sorority sisters are fighting over him so I had to do something..
Omg. I have a story to tell you later about that girl that just crawled on stage
He walked into the pizza shop... Pulled the fire alarm.. And proceeded to dance to it...
The compounded multi day delayed hangover hit me hard today, with a vengeance normally reserved for large objects that go in my ass. I don't feel good.
Stormed out of the house in frustration and now I'm in public and have to take a rage dump. Today sucks.
It's a noodle incident. All I can say is that it was completely accidental, no one was too seriously injured, and I'm not allowed back to that bar without a designated pusher for my wheelchair.
I straight up told your dad I've slept with a majority of your family
Did you clean my apartment?
I thought it was a dream, I'm sorry
Please stay more often
We're about to get drunk and it feels wrong without you
How you run into a glAss door three times in a row I do not know
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