this is like her 8th guy since december, is she wasn't frumpy people would call her a whore
I JUST WOKE UP ON A TRAIN
I SHUDNT B ON A TRAIN
at russian wedding, no open bar. bottles of vodka at table. getting to work tomorrow may be an issue.
Too bad you can't keep me under your desk. You'd love that wouldn't you? Massages, blowjobs, and I'd be forced to be quiet all day.
So someone just pointed out to me that during dinner, I mentioned more women that I'm attracted to than men. The transition might be complete. I'm gay.
Just threw up in front of the Boy Scouts on my base. Welcome to the Navy kids.
all i remember was her shitting herself and asking me to call her parents.....i so didn't. when i woke up she was gone and left a note saying "we will be lovers forever"
We've cranked the heat for blizzard versions of all of our strip games. Come over.
You know what's even more awkward then buying plan b from someone who is a member at the gym you work at... When they come in after that day and have that look of recognition
nope. just stoned. wishing i had a golf cart.
Oh my god if I have to go on fetlife to find a guy who will fuck me right around here, I'm going to scream.
Did your grand seduction include learning to play careless whisper on a kazoo or was that just a hobby
She just kept screaming and saying "fucking you is like fucking a mountain"
You talk the same way I hallucinate.
Enjoy your early 30’s! You’re still young enough to catch a twenty something that can fuck 4 times a day, hot enough to date forty year old penises that can last long enough to give you multiple orgasms
Randomize
