I was in the bathroom and her cat just looked at my penis with a profound hatred.
I hope you get used to having plenty of sperm because you're never gonna get any.
Day 8 of being sober: Sniffed an empty beer bottle at a restaurent and almost licked it. This is not working
honestly, i just want you to have sex with him too so that you can fully understand my appreciation of his dick as well.
Im having a christmas reunion party tonight. Last year i ate my own contact. We'll see how this year goes
Just bought koolaid for my vodka in a DARE shirt with my NES wallet. I'm everything I thought I'd be when I was 8.
Except even better, boobs get discounts.
I just threw up over a bridge. I didn't even know there was a bridge in this town. Vodka is like a transportation device.
I think I won over his best friend. He was staring at my boobs all night.
Last time he went to Europe, every time he started drinking he would wake up in a different country with no memory. There is no way he can be tour leader.
Nothing brings people closer than bonding over tequila shots and running from campus security.
I drew a nude short fat middle aged woman today and liked it
It was honestly one of my favorite days in art class except for the 20 min she faced me and kept looking at me and we made eye contact
I gather from Facebook you got drunk last night and took semi naked pictures of yourself?
Other than my penis smelling like an ashtray, it went really well.
then looked at this little girl next to me and was like "don't drink when you get older and don't let your best friend be with assholes." she looked at me like i was crazy
Fuck you. All I remember from last night is telling random people that I'm in a "judgement free zone" then I threw up
Randomize
