he had a sign stolen from the tennis court hanging above his bed that said, "please limit play to one hour while others are waiting"
Lesbians. Lesbians everywhere.
She told me she wanted to wax my ass. I'm terrified and oddly aroused.
He had a curved dick....must be a european thing
Be still, my beating vagina.
You challenged yourself to walk backwards all the way to the bar... And you did
I was seriously concerned she had died since she wasn't moving at all, but then I asked here where she was last night and her response was to hip thrust the air.
When you're a bigshot ER surgeon and I'm a starving artist, I want you to remember who held your hair last night.
I didn't know White Castle was open when your sober.
Also, I just opened Google to find the lyrics to California Gurls. Karaoke night did us dirty.
Well, after a pitcher of beer, I set my ex on fire. It was a little fire, he's fine. How's your night?
so hungover i had to get off the train to puke, rallied and went to work. not sure if that's an adulting win or fail
It's something you'd find in the room outside of Ben Carson's sex dungeon
I have no idea what to do with myself since we graduated.
I've just been napping and sexting all day.
There are leaves in my underwear?
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