I gotta feeling the economic climate has killed the housewife market
i'm not a human right now. not even a dancer.
I think about you every night.
I'm sorry.
I think I gave almost everyone at that party the clap last night
did the hipsters beat you up because you are more ironic than they are?
One of my students just said I have "big mommy parts". Even third graders know that my tits are too big. God I love em.
What's he like?
The usual. Sarcastic, dark, full of fucked up emotional problems that result in fantastic sexual prowess.
I AM SUCH A BETTER PERSON ON DRUGS
Nothing is more awkward than taking a dump while someone is crying in the bathroom.
Either I spilled whiskey on my boobs last night or they are fermenting. Not concerned in the slightest
The cops came, and I made friends with him. He wants me to babysit his kids.
I told my coworker that I'm going to a dinner party and was asked to bring wine and pregnancy tests and he was like.. I miss being 20
My desire to pee is a lot higher than my need to be buzzed right now.
ugh, my whole family is going ape shit over my sister's pregnancy blog. I dont get it? Anyone can get knocked up! I had rebound sex with a new york ranger last night, now that is something to fucking blog about.
Should I wish him a happy birthday?
Well he has been inside of you enough times that you probably should.
Randomize
