I told him we can only be friends from now on & he said he knows but that I'm the 'best he ever had'.
you slept with him again didn't you
you can't just quote Drake AND compliment me at the same time & receive nothin. he knows me too well
i'm sitting in the pool eating chicken pot pie with my little brother's friend. moments like these are the reason i love weed.
He was dressed as ron burgundy and his pickup line was "dont worry, i wont make you jump in a bear pit."
I an in a belgian bar and i cant understand shit. Trying to talk to strangers. Getting drunk until we all speak the same language. Brace for updates.
Ah that wonderful moment when you realise the bookmark you were using in a book you lent your mum is actually a receipt from a strip club
I got picked up after "I just threw up in my face". Then I had very specific instructions involving the bathtub.
This is the guy I made out with and it made me think of my dad. Let's never talk about it again.
I find it weird that you'll let me in your vagina, but not your house
Day two of not drinking, I think my cat is trying to eat me.
Psychosis secondary to sobriety???
I'm trying to get weird tonight. Like I want to see bitches crawling on all fours drinking milk from bowls and shit by 5 am. You down?
I'm looking for whatever I can find, and afford without having to eat my emotional support cat
An old Grimace plushie came to life and gave me a pretty knife. I'm never doing acid again.
Plus you need some new dick in your life, the environment is fucked enough you don’t have to recycle anymore 😂💀
It started with drunk jenga and ended with me simultaneously peeing and puking on his feet in the tub while he held me up. I met Tequila. I don't like her.
Our baby is creepy.
That's how we know it's ours. haha
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