That's what you get when you play shuffleboard drunk.
Anything that's based on a blow job I'm in favor of.
i knew it was time to break up with him once he pulled out the Halo foreplay costumes
after last nights cooking expirments i have lost all faith in the fire alarm battery
Real housewives of new joisy starts MONDAY. Skype session after? Virtual slap the bag?
I inspected his penis with a mini flashlight to check for visible stds...he was clean
Count me out. I seem to have semen induced blindness in one eye.
I still owe him the card with all the sperm paper cutouts falling out like glitter saying " sorry you can't hold your load. Better luck next time "
She kept asking for cigarettes, than just put them in her purse as "savings"
Full disclosure. I fucked the fatty from work and shit is weird now.
He and I didn't so much date, as watch cartoons and go down on each other.
SPICY FOODS AND BLOWJOBS DON'T MIX.
YOU SAID YOU'D TRY ANYTHING ONCE YOU LIAR
Once upon a time I threw up in my own hands last night.
I don't know how I got home but I'm pretty sure the guy in my closet had something to do with it
I have serious attachment issues. I just realized how long its been since ive smoked out of my bong and I feel guilty for dis owning it this week
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