Uhhh...do I owe you any money? Or an apology? Or anything?
i dont even know how to be here
Recent Google searches: "babu kangarooz"... "why 2 tacos bell" and "is dinosaur in real life"
Did someone do a keg stand in my bathtub?
This is all my moms fault. She shouldn't have encouraged my weird fascinations as a child
I should probably just look up vagina pictures in the anatomy textbook. That always cheers me up.
I have bruises everywhere. I think I took "the drinks are strong" as more of a challenge than a warning.
Dude. When are you coming home? I'm laying in bed watching the Grinch and trying to pet a cat that I'm not even sure exists.
Someone shat in our tub last night. I'm not pointing fingers but you priors make you a prime suspect.
Wake up. Finish House of Cards. Put on pants.
Accurate.
she fell THROUGH the wall. All in all id have to say that my neighbors where pretty chill about it tho.
I didn't know where you were for like 15 minutes and then I went in the bathroom splashing water on the mirror and throwing hand towels around saying that you were "redecorating"
Someone just asked me if I was chewing red hot gum.... I'm LITERALLY SWEATING OUT FIREBALL.
I'm 2 weeks in to my all dick and carb diet and so far I've lost 2lbs.
Hi I am on my way. I stopped and got the cheeseburger you asked for. Are you gonna pay me back?
Who is this?
Randomize
