Tell me exactly where it said it wasn't a unisex bathroom.
I just put lube in Matt's bellybutton. He looks unhappy.
He' s half Black and half Italian, I finally asked...this penis maybe one for the records.
What are the odds of finding the one hot Australian dude with erecile dysfunction?
i will trade you pizza and a blowjob for a fifth of vodka.
do i get to eat the pizza while you give me the blowjob?
I'm buying you potatoes, the least you could do is not ask any fucking questions and just say thank you.
You yelled "hold my dick" before you tackled the guy away from the dj and two random girls moved to actually hold it, then argued about it. I want that whore aura!
It's time for everyone's favorite Wednesday night game... WHEEL OF. VODKA!!!!!
Currently playing beer pong versus the girl i lost my virginity to.....and her mom
New one-upper goal: I have to shit off the side of a moving train then jump off
I am tired of banking on my penis size to overcome my lack of game.
Really stoned me is having a very serious, intent conversation with my mom about egg rolls and koolaid flavors.
Pretty much just farted directly in a baby's mouth on the subway
Why is "Oprah of drinks" written on my arms?
You said to write it on you, after you kept saying, "You get a drink, you get a drink, everyone gets a drink."
so i was about to call you for your birthday but then i started making out with this guy... and i feel bad but i felt like you'd understand
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