I dint menn to makr ut w brtendr
Wat???
U lft me at bar, no cassh for cab, may have slept with bartender
I wish you had a penis so you could experience peeing out the window in front of a crowd of people leaving parties.
At this point I feel like i'm never going to be sober, and it's frightening
Second wind. Either that or my heart is about to explode. I'm hoping the first one.
I gave you a lap dance in a bowling alley... And I was Fine?
Boys DO look like their dicks. Its like dogs.
He walked door to door asking if anyone needed to get laid. Surprisingly, that ended his drought
its the kind of night you break several limbs and say you were lucky
I'd return your shirt, but it got all wet from lying on the bathroom floor while I was in the shower with Justin's roommate...
Keep it.
you guys have a strange definition of the word fun. I would have said dangerous, terrifying, or life-threatening. of course, bowling can now be described the same way.
I didnt realize until i got your email that what i've been missing in my life is someone to send me dog gifs
He saw me naked after our first date and still asked for a second.. so I think we’re doing good
I must be really high or they really did just bring me a banana split instead of a burger
Chasing shots with airborne.. Gonna get rid of my sickness and my soberness.
When have you ever know me to go too far?
Besides the alcoholism, the HR issues, and getting fired from Best Buy for tackling a display?
Yeah. Besides those.
Randomize
