she's like the human form of herpes, as soon as you think she's gone for good you have another out break.
if i wake u up at 5am tmrw by coming into ur room wearing nothing but my indiana jones hat and purple socks while singing 'courtesy of the red white + blue' will u be pleased or annoyed
keep in mind this isn't open to negotiation, i'm just trying to gauge ur reaction
my periods are so regular now that they are sync-ed with my subscriptions of vogue.
BROstal carolina. Watching a boy drinking rum and coke out of a cup of noodle empty cup.
if you do not get any action from him tonight, I am personally walking my drunk ass over there grabbing his tongue and sticking it in your mouth. this is getting ridiculous
I'm going to but the new Playboy with Chelsea Handler on the cover. I'm pretty sure it's the only time buying a Playboy will make me gayer...
Cancel that soberness update. I just almost fell down in the security line
I don't believe u have enough text space to describe the dimensions of his penis.
Dude she broke four ribs, how does a 110 lb girl break four of my ribs during sex?! It hurts so bad but was so worth it
I'm doing running of the bulls tomorrow at 7am...except in New Orleans roller derby girls chase you.
all I know is this drummer better stop eye fucking me while he plays cowbell. it is way too early for that.
I find it weird that you'll let me in your vagina, but not your house
I stole a tiki torch last night and just returned it. Things have been better.
MY BUTT IS BIG ENOUGH FOR AN ANACONDA AND HE DOESNT GET TO ENJOY IT TOUGH SHIT
Fuck your bullshit loser kid and his gluten allergy.
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