talk about how much treatments for your hpv hurts
I just wanna be some guy's midlife crisis
I'm going to but the new Playboy with Chelsea Handler on the cover. I'm pretty sure it's the only time buying a Playboy will make me gayer...
She laid down on my bed and played "I want you to want me" on my laptop. subtle.
All I wanted to tell you is that I fucked a guy covered in fake blood, who circumcised himself.
the only reason you beat me in fntsy this week is bc you wouldnt bail me outa jail in time to set my roster you dick
when i got there he was on top of an air mattress in the middle of the pool with a bag of doritos and a 40 telling people he needed his space.
i'm having flashbacks of crying and telling you i was made out of egg salad.
WHY AM I BEING COCKBLOCKED BY A KID PLAYING HAVA NAGILA ON THE SAXAPHONE
When he left he said something to the effect of "well now that I've been used..." I think he may be on to me.
dude wearing that thong all day was not worth the 7 bucks
dude to be honest with you there is a used condom that ive just left on my floor for three days
you have got to get your shit together
They took my balls.
I didnt realize until i got your email that what i've been missing in my life is someone to send me dog gifs
No joke. There's a picture of the priest I made out with on my parents' refrigerator.
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