i just pooped in tubberware. not a proud day
You guys coming?
We are smoking out the bouncer? But after that sure
he is training for a marathon but can't last more than five minutes on top. worst tuesday night ever
I woke up with her little sister yelling "she's dead !!" from the bathroom doorway.
You had me sold at "fucking you down the slide"
I wonder if i could put a dildo on my bike seat to encourage me to exercise.
So I went tanning and I burned my boobs.
They're like sad pomegranates.
All I know is that I woke up in a soccer players' dorm, and he said that I kept telling him my mouth was a "net for his balls" last night at the bar..
All the party invite said was a date and "21 to drink, 18ish to sleep over"
tried to make it look like I had been conscious/awake and out all day when I stumbled into cvs at 6pm to buy plan B
update: I failed
That tampon felt like a stick in my vagina, I am never making a drunken tampon choice again. Friends don't let friends choose tampons drunk.
I just saw a woman give her infant whiskey tits. About ten minutes ago she was doing shots, and now she's breast feeding. Whiskey. Tits.
How's the party?
I'm watching two people get flogged. Sothere's that.
It was a crazy night: tears were shed, blood was spewed, and bottles were emptied.
Just bought shot glasses from the thrift store. I think the guy buying a winter coat was even judging me.
Randomize
