I wanna eat
then frost
then eat your cupcake
Come home. Im drunk and cutting my own hair. This is bad, i need you.
I think they gave out some kind of ugly girl scholarship I don't know about...
what you doin?
I just woke up vomited poured myself a chocolate milk and turned on the peoples court. you?
reread what you just wrote and reconsider your entire life
Dude, he sent me a pic of his dick. I thought dating a married man wouldn't remind me so much of high school. Seriously.
Instead of medicine they should just give ecstasy. Also I'm tingly and can't find u guys. A gay man just said he loved me... :( / :)
He got a slutty, ugly mother of a 7 year old, and I got a dog that only sleeps and shits on clean clothes. No one won in this break up.
I puked in a solo cup and then offered it to him. So yeah, it was a rough night.
The man who lives downstairs is fluent in Russian, and also a playboy. You should meet.
Holy shit he's circumcised. His parents must have really loved him.
so...the lady doing my pedi totally noticed the human bite marks on my calf. Who says marriage ends your sex life? Love u!
I'm still me, I just happen to have things in my porn library that you may not have expected
Only you would come out as bi like that
dont you DARE use my tequila influenced words against me
Ya’ll! My debit card got switched with my boss’ at lunch today (both Red Wells Fargo)....I realized it at whole foods AFTER I ran it for $100 at Vanity Room getting my vaj waxed 🤦🏻♀️🤦🏻♀️🤦🏻♀️. Most awkward IOU ever tomorrow.
I don't wanna be 33 that's when Jesus died
Randomize
