i think im in love. he told me he doesnt care if i shave down there.
she was so hammered she started drinking dishwasher detergent
I dont know whats funnier - that, or that we learned that poison control is closed at 2 AM
Definitely saw about 20 people at my final that were never present before. It's like seeing who's gonna be serving me fries in 4 years.
Her vagina smelled like bad decisions
Just downloaded the entire Justin Bieber album sober.. I think you know how I'm doing.
You should make it a point to use vocabulary that is competition appropriate around him, like "champion" and "training" and "victory sex"
Is singing the Indiana Jones theme while I put on the condom off limits?
I'm not the one who can lose their erection, so it's fair game
All three roommates are gay and in women's studies. Ive already been informed that all penetration is rape. This is not the college experience I signed up for.
I'm at the local community college pretending to be a substitute for a computer applications class
I'm going to have to have a long talk with god if my soul mate has a prince albert
I say this as a friend, you would make a SPECTACULAR crossdresser
The most adult decision I've mad today was Jameson or Fireball? It's been a successful Day
It's like the cookie assaulted me with being high.
I feel like a grown up and it scares me so I'm hiding out in the bathroom stall and messaging you
Apparently the cops had to handcuff me in order to get me to come with to the hospital with them. They asked me if I had had any experience with handcuffs before and I replied, "Only in bed." What a life
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