I woke up this morning next to some guy. I was horrified, he woke up and said, "the white tiger strikes again!"
she's about as cool as a sandpaper handjob.
she's in the bathroom throwing up right now...what is the hookup protocol after she is done? what all can I do with her?
I'm so hungover i just sang the alphabet to see if "Z" comes after "W"
you knoww youre high when you are just as concerned as the contestants on ultimate cake off as they move their 250 lbs cake over the ramp
I didn't think I could chip a tooth while giving a blowjob until I met him.
Because the last time i saw or spoke to him he came all over me in a hammock.
The coffee from our coffee maker just hasn't tasted normal since we made Mac n cheese in it that one time....
Seius question. Does a penis floar when ina baht? Must find out.
It's my 3rd annual 21st birthday party. Disney themed. There will be blood.
I love that your nipples always taste like clean laundry.
she's sitting there like the lesbian godfather. A cigarette in one hand and a titty in the other.
We had sex and then stood naked in his living room eating zucchini bread.
I finally figured out how to tighten my bra straps and I feel like a god
this is the fourth time i've taken my clothes off for money this year. is that normal for the average college sophomore?
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