You supply the liquor and I'll "accidently" forget my bathing suit.
Deal!
Just saw a commercial bout this girl that lost 54 lbs on a taco bell diet. so thats my excuse.
i took it, then realized you live 3 ours away. but if you start driving now, im almost positive I'll still be hard
WHITE RUSSIAN WEDNESDAY. TELL YOUR CO WORKERS. INVITE QND PREPARE
Be subtle and tell lucas that he should sleep here tonight. And by subtle, i mean show him this text...
I swear 95% of pictures on my phone are from drunken nights I don't remember with me doing a peace sign alone in somebody's bedroom.
my mom just said "if you had sex with someone you don't really like I'm going to be so mad at you" HOW DOES EVERYBODY KNOW
all my money is vodka money
I have never read a truer sentence.
Well we were going to compare notes, but all I could remember was throwing up, and all she could remember was kissing, so then we decided to not compare anything.
I was just thrown into the pool and now I'm surrounded by men... You would think this is the dream but I'm just confused
I'M GOING TO FUCK AN ENTIRE ORCHESTRA AND NOTHING CAN STOP ME
The band club does not count as an orchestra
Thank you for stroking my rage monster tonight.
i just want to get drunk and cry and have sex with lots of men
She's the other freshman on this drunken voyage
The strippers who live across the street set up a decently professional stage on their front balcony and a banner for a go fund me... I think we're gonna get a show.
Randomize
