I wonder how skeet ulrich feels about the skeet skeet phrase and and what it denotes.
You probably havent been upstairs if you think that the microwave missing its door is bad
please explain to me why there is a shopping cart in my living room.
oh and i'm sorry i sold you for three cigarettes last night
Hurry up and get here I'm judging myself
We're doing it in the traditional way of discussing why we dislike each other while sharing a bowl. Just like the natives do.
I've never used poorer judgment in my life. It's mathematically possible that I impregnated 5 women in the past 24 hours since I won the lottery. But I couldn't be happier about it.
I mean there are things broken right and left, I woke up surrounded by dog statues, and we had a vodka bubble bath.
almost dropped my phone in the toilet but it somehow bounced off my tit and landed on the floor. Boobs: saving me hundreds of dollars in bar tabs and smartphones since '09
So it turns out "let's pretend to be gay so guys will stop hitting on us" was step one in her plan to get me into bed...
He's good looking but he really sounds like kermit the frog, can you imagine how fucking him would sound like?
I got pulled over by the same cop in a 4.5 hour window. Got off both times. Fuck yes.
THERE ARE LEGITLY 4 SEPARATE BITE MARKS ON MY DICK. WHAT. THE. FUCK.
Legitimately*
Go fuck yourself
I am 11 times too hungover to give the eulogy
I love you so much and not just because your dick is perfect
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