i wish you could fill a pinata with booze
His shopping cart was nothing but malt liquor and zucchini.
Wake and baked to watch the boston marathon. God I love massachusetts
She passed out in his mom's bed and when we went to go get her she went 'no its cool I live here'.
But youre all cute and shit. Woo that cunt. And by cunt i mean strong independent woman
The only thing stopping me from having sex with you in my parents jacuzzi bathtub is the knowledge that they've already had that idea themselves
She's calming us down by shoving oreos in our mouths
Who has the safety vest from this past weekend Additionally, who has the dancemaster glove?
I've found my soulmate with the cardboard Dos Equis man.
She had a tattoo of Luke Bryan on her thigh and she made me waffles. Can I have two fiancees?
it was one of those unspoken contracts of silence like "I teach your daughter and you work at a strip club"...I don't tell if you don't
I almost just opened my door to get my pizza butt ass naked
No idea who's grandma but people were just running around naked
He ate me out in the passenger seat of his Range Rover in a Tim Hortons parking lot. I could hear “oh canada” on the radio from a nearby school as I came. Most patriotic orgasm ever!
Can’t. Tonight’s a netflix and dick night
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