Todays outfit involves shorts with embroidered fish. This kids gonna die.
mmmm my 21st bday fucking sucks all my best friends are pregnant...selfish assholes. they just couldnt wait til after my bday.
He has jerked off in so many socks I am surprised he doesn't have athletes dick
once my pubes got caught on her snaggletooth it was all downhill from there
I hope, cuz I was gunna get "celebritory drunk" but now I have to get "I'm disappointed drunk"
It involved homemade coconut rum, a waterfall, and street signs. I'll leave the rest to your capable imagination.
Can I just put my face in your boobs and forget the world?
LISTEN TO ME! GAY. FIREFIGHTER. They are the most rare and precious kind of gay. The kind little gays dream of. It needs to happen.
I will turn myself into a beacon of get at me bro
When did i become the Rickety Cricket of my own life?
I just fell down my stairs, guess that's how my sunday is gonna go
Just burnt my tongue. Not sure if it will help or hurt giving blow jobs
i'm really sorry, but i'm just not sober enough to make good decisions.
i woke up on the floor in front of the fireplace and my last google search was "fuck sponges"
Tell me you're alive little brother. And please tell me you didn't get arrested. You made no fucking sense last night in your random texts and pictures you were sending me.
Randomize
