Why don't I have your new number? And who have I been texting?
Dude, you just left me a 3 minute voicemail of pop rocks in your mouth. Im sitting right next you
normal stoners make pot brownies. gay stoners make pot chocolate covered cherries on a cinnamon graham cracker crust which by the way are very effective.
I have a drunk 6th sense to lyrics of songs i dont know. It only works when i dance..
Is it bad that I was more upset about not getting the perfume he told me he had bought for me then the actual breakup?
you smelled like vodka, i think that's why my grandma liked you
I think that girl got really offended when I made out with baby Jesus.
We stared down the barrel of pure insanity, took more and the electric elephant god rewarded our fearlessness by giving me golden skulls and naked women crawling out of the walls. I love acid
probably one of the worst weekends ever... i got peed on by his sleepwalking roommate.
It's tough not drinking when the bartender adds rum to your coke without telling you, and doesn't charge you
I'm on a treadmill at the gym ordering pizza on my phone so it'll get to my house around the time I get home. I NEED HELP. Or I'm a genius. I haven't decided.
well I've taken an Uber to my weed dealers twice in the past 2 weeks so it's going well since I sold my car
I just kept thinking.. Holy shit. We're fucking in my front yard.
At least I got steroids and a baguette out of the deal
got laid for being an eagle scout again. 4 more and ill have all my merit badges.
Randomize
