You should dream of me :)
I'm going to dream of single life.
By the end of the second bowl I was making sound effects to every hand movement he made.
Oh. My. God. Best non-relationship, he-might-be-cheating-on-his-boyfriend-but-I-can't-tell-because-of-the-language-barrier sex EVER!
UD be completely fine. you don't lose control just keep a positive environment. for example i really want to lick the wall cause red is delicious but i don't have to.
How much explanation does bbqsexapalooza need?
She pointed at me and told her friend, I'm going to fuck him, its going to be really loud, so yes, i need the whole basement.
Chipotle chips and wine for breakfast. Its def game day
I found ecstasy taped in my armpit... thank you drunk Marissa.
My boss walked in on me puking in the urinal while taking a piss. Sunday funday is eroding my last shred of credibility at work.
Just showered now I smell like berries instead of shame
i woke up and found a picture of his grandma in my purse.. im a kelpto
If you set your screensaver to be a slides show, make sure you remove dick pics first. This lesson 1 of living with your great aunt
Woke up in a sombrero and a males speedo. Tequila makes normal peoples clothes fall off, however it makes me fall into a questionable identity crisis
She told me having sex was our civic duty. How can I not love her?
I got a lap dance last night from a girl while I was wearing a Captian America onsie. My life does not suck.
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