It looked like if robin williams had a vagina
it's like i warped into dreamland and the only thing that makes sense is my solo cup
There are many reasons why he shouldn't come over. And each one is longer than his penis.
We left the bar, went to a sex shop, bought penis shotglasses, went back to the bar and insisted that the bartender used them.
i threw up on the table at the pizza place and peed in her room mates closet. i wouldnt invite me back either
She was puking in a plastic bag while cleaning where she puked on the floor. She knows how to multitask.
My face is tingly. And my legs are being massaged by golden elves.
Oh that could end badly if you get them mixed up.. you know who I think you should focus on?? THE ONE WITH THE BIG BLACK COCK, just sayin
they adjusted my tv to black and white ... i thought i drank myself to colorblindness
He said that I looked like a "ghost had crawled up into my vagina and died"..so yeah, I'd say the hangover was noticeable.
Hey are you going to the pride parade? If so get me a shit ton of condoms
He was on my bed looking at me like a sacrifice to the gods of gay sex and he's definitely a bottom. Like Jesus Christ a really, really great ass of a bottom.
My phone just put together a highlight reel of yesterday's dick pic session, set to music and everything
I wish I was taller so I could give these boobs the publicity they deserve.
I just watched two birds fight or fuck. It was crazy. Another bird was watching closer and I know that bird understood what was happening better than me.
Randomize
