We are not buying weed off a guy from the internet.
Wat the fuck dude ketchup in my bong???
So my OCD kicked in and I cleaned his kitchen. His roommates were so grateful, they tried to pay me in weed.
YOU ACCEPTED, RIGHT?
ps I'm eating candy off our sex sheets. gotta say the only thing better than sweet tarts is sweet tarts with a hint of sex. perfect post vday situation
Last night did I take a piece of pizza out of your hand and then proceed to eat it?
Twice...
I just want to like fall into a pit of hot wings beside a keg of yingling and eat my way to freedom
Can't decide if this guy is hot or if I'm just bored.
Sex is clearly the solution either way.
GET ME OUT OF HERE THE DOCTOR KNOWS HE IS JUDGING ME I DEMAND A PRISON BREAK
Some male strippers are here, I threw pancakes at them. It's ok
She ordered an O'douls. That was the end of that date
Well, I crapped my pants in front of her entire family, was laughed out of their house, and I had to walk home with shit stained pants. So, yeah, it went really well.
I'm pretty sure i doubled the number of dicks I've ever touched, last night.
I woke up in a front yard I didn't recognize to a grandma tapping me with her foot. What was in that punch?
That means I have to put pants on. That is not something I am willing to do right now.
Despite how often it occurs, I have absolutely no interest in having sex with myself
Randomize
