i'm going through the NYU 2014 group looking for future drunken hookups. too slutty?
I'm in the laundromat a drunk armenian guy keeps trying to help me fold my laundry. Ah i'm going to miss queens.
Joey just asked me if I ever got anything stuck in my vag.
was it embarrassing when you had to say yes?
he urdandictionary'ed 'tease' on his phone and made me read through all the definitions. Am i really that bad?
You slept in the bed with him... with your top off.... and just made out with him....
my step dad just called me a drunken slut..someone in my family finally understands me
You insisted on squirting shots of captain morgan in your mouth with a turkey baster by like 930.
My concierge just asked me to his place for dinner while I was signing for a delivery. The delivery was a box of vibrators. Let's discuss.
Her one night stand followed us to mass. This is too funny for real life.
If fixing it is ignoring it, and getting naked. Then yes we fixed it.
I've started budgeting for next year. It looks like I'll be crying tears of dollar bills and handing them over to pay back my unholy college debt.
Current dream situation- Gordon Ramsey is my Uber driver and he's hauling around a backseat filled with chocolate covered açai berries. I'm good for eternity.
Did you ever think you lost your bong and then you find it in the weirdest place? I mean, who leaves their bong in the shower?
First time a guy goes down on me and his dog had its head on my knee the whole time. I swear it was judging me.
The free coupon that printed out with the purchase of my plan b emergency contraception was for allergy meds. I feel like a coupon for condoms would've been more fitting in this situation.
Oh wait. It's for wart remover. Fitting, afterall.
I just wanna fuck your brother. Sorry if thats a crime.
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