I wanna blow your doors off so bad right now.
Doors?
Rock your world. Blow you out. Skeet skeet.
When we talk. Remind me of these topics, photoshop, my bday, threesomes, and cherekee indians. I swear these are real topics...
New topics to add when we talk, sweden, boxing, and the band journey
i really wish someone from a royal background would fuck me so i could literally say i was 'royally fucked'.
Let's face it. We both have sexy parts. Why not have them touch?!
I don't remember anything other than how good it felt when I peed my pants.
Fuck my life, there's a fry in my vagina.
her 18 year old son fed me pieces of a french roll like a pigeon, as I lay on the floor of the bathroom crying.
It's disgusting. He breathes through his mouth and just sounds fat. Plus he chews all loud and shit.
At least be KIND OF sobering up before you text me, I've told you before I don't speak vodka unless I've been drinking it with you.
PS WHY wasn't I drinking it with you? Dick.
TYLER OWES ME SO MUCH
I LET A CREEPY MAN I DONT KNOW SUCK ON MY NIPPLES
Dude, I'm at a wedding and there's a mashed potato bar and bacon strip appetizers. I'm getting all emotional.
You like pics of my balls that much?
I am at the store looking at frames as we text...
So uh. Your future in porn. Would you be willing to wear an alien costume for it?
The people at Perkins seem so judgemental. Big deal if i'm handcuffed to stripper in a star-n-stripes bikini. We still gotta eat.
Will exercising make me less horny?
Randomize
