Without porn, I would have few hobbies.
you yelled then hung up at the girl on information bc she could not pinpoint your location and tell you how to get to dennys
She wouldn't stop saying her own name. Like a damn pokemon.
I threw up red last night... I wanted to pinch myself because it wasn't green.
i want the original willy wonka imagination song to come on when i take a girl to my room
... was I dreaming when we did coke off of the xbox, or did that really happen?
took 4 advil with a shot of vodka, figure i'd try to save myself now
I believe I won the Golden Vodka Bottle of sadness last night for crying while being party boyed.
YOU NEED TO STOP BLOWING DUDES ON MY COUCH AT MY PARTIES
YOU NEED TO STOP PROVIDING TEQUILA AT YOUR PARTIES
dude my grandma just called my dealer. How does this shit happen to me
I'm more worried that you thought licking a pole on Bourbon street would turn me on
I don't give a fuck that he's gay and keeps hitting on me. Free cocaine is free cocaine bro
I'm wandering around outside asking things if they are god
He came over and fucked me while my conference call was on mute. Working from home is the best.
It's has to do with my genitals. Don't ask.
Randomize
