He had some BAD nuttage
Nuttage?
It's like cleavage......... but different
New rule: no balls on the kitchen counter.
I was watching truelife I'm transgendered. This tranny already got a date a week after getting a vagina. I've had a vagina my entire life and can't get a date.
I didn't know it was possible to throw up mid-sneeze.
also, did you notice that when he quoted your email he used MLA format?
what part of "i slept with our hot teacher" are you not excited about?!
the part where you beat me to him
fair enough.
At the bar. Madeline and I totally brought our own pitcher from home because they always run out. Hello alcoholism.
I don't know what's more sad. The fact that I'm genuinely impressed about being sober for a whole 3 days or the fact that I want to get wasted in celebration.
I asked the full emergency room who else was there because of homecoming and every single person raised their hand
Not sure how ur night is going, but unless u also saw a naked drunk chick pissing outside i doubt it can top mine
Last night dinner was cinnamon buns and whiskey. At least tonight I had a fajita with my cookies and tequila. I may be a little stressed about these end of semester tests.
At the end of the date, he asked if he could kiss me. I really wanted to say "dude, I didn't shave for nothing"
I think I sent pictures of my boobs to an Olympic athlete...
Update: He still has devil magic genitals.
we bonded over knowing every word to freaky gurl by gucci mane so it’s kinda starting to make sense why I gave him head in his cul de sac
Randomize
