Why did you send me a picture of a dick?
It was an accident sry. Not mine tho.
in a basement doing blow off a prince dvd next to a chick in a saddam mask
Pls don't use the words alligator, purple, and sperm in the same sentence ever again.
We made a percocet pizza. And then i made an unfortunate decision.
I found her in the trunk, smoking a cigarette, saying every girl should know how to get out of their trunk
I just can't have sex with a guy who has nicer eyebrows than me
I think I threw my underwear away at What-A-Burger last night.
The funny part was that the cop pulled us over cause the park was closed, not because I had just come up from giving the guy a blowjob when the cop drove by.
Drinking wine from a straw at 6:15 in the morning. This is what college does to people.
the fact that you trapped hornets in a mailing tube to put in his mailbox does not surprise me sadly.
He's a Republican and an Ohio State fan idk how far this can go.
It's only funny because he thinks you had sex with him to rob him.
I thought I was really making her scream. Turns out she had a Lego jammed in her lower back.
My feet surprised me
When I planned out my evening, "co-author lesbian vampire erotica" was not anywhere on my list of expected activities.
Me neither, but hey, this is where we've ended up. Let's embrace the moment.
Randomize
