I swear she didn't look like that last week.
it was like brushing your tongue but with a fucking long toothbrush.
it's like i need an invisible sign across my boobs that says "DOESN'T HAVE DADDY ISSUES" that only old men can see
If youre the one that ate my brownies this morning I only have two things to say to you
Those had pot in them
And good luck on your interview asshole
I know now the amount of smoke it takes to set off the fire alarm....no longer worried about using the bong...not even close
let's get a trip to cabo together for next spring... they have to have forgotten about me by now
To say he's a good fuck is like saying the beatles had a bit of success. My vag is still mourning the fact he moved.
he turned two sober chicks into 7 drunken girls...he's my hero
As you were leaving the bar you grabbed a table and when they stopped you, you said "Its cool i came in with this". They did not believe you.
He's so drunk he thinks he's the ultimate warrior. Told cops he was from parts unknown. Never broke character
You know you have done too many drugs when you gum the sugar off your margarita without even thinking twice
I don't care what the Chinese zodiac calendar says . . . 2015 is the year of the cock!
we should start a freak-out-the-cashier-contest. I just bought JerseyShore Season2, red high heels, and nipple soothing pads
still can't believe dude took a personal call while he was balls deep in my mouth.
I can't really text bc it's too expensive but I thought youd like to know I just shit myself in a gift shop.
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