Charles is a playa. And I don't mean the spanish word for beach.
what the fuck a piece of candy corn just came out of her nose
Pretty sure i didnt get thrown out cause why dont i have more bloody areas
I'm just walking around Lowe's groping the carpets....
I was wearing the shirt my little sister got for her birthday when the condom broke. I finally have it back to her and told her it was bad luck
I lost a whole day of my life. Apparemtly I was using my deodrant as a phone. And is my phone there?
Last thing I remember was a hand in the pants. Then I woke up next to a full beer and a McDouble, which I promptly had for breakfast.
We were all day drunk by 2pm. Now I know why they hate Americans
The ecstacy made me so dehydrated I started licking condensation off car windows
I guess I just don't understand how the two main issues with your ex involve a cock ring and a Christmas tree
I will run into the sunset with a fist full of condoms.
got a free grilled cheese. Didn't even have to talk about Jesus
I don't think you could pull off being mean.
How do you think I'm still single?
We stood outside the room listening to them have sex and making meow noises
That's not right, is it?
THREE MINUTES! THREE MINUTES PAST MIDNIGHT I STSRT HEARING CHRISTMAS MUSIC ON THE OVERHEAD PA SYSTEM!!!
Randomize
