can you blame him?
i blame him for everything, HE GOT ME PREGNANT
I wont touch it. I promise i wont touch it. JUST GET UNDER THE DAMN TABLE PLEASE.
I'd like to apologize to your liver. It sees how much beer i drink and gets jealous of how awesome my liver is.
I think she just stepped in a piece of mac and cheese, picked it off the bottom of her foot and ate it.
how many americans can say they have been laid before eating their first big mac?
you smelled like vodka, i think that's why my grandma liked you
Are you available to help carry me into the house Monday?
Why are you always at the walk in clinic, Lady Chlamydia?
You're not allowed to make that my permanent nickname.
Is there a law against that?
Nope not at all. Just morals. But fuck it, this is college, not real life.
maybe volvos are so family friendly and safe because they're extremely uncomfortable to get fucked on.
Random Survey Question: If things start getting serious with this cop, do I have to stop doing coke?
why is there a chinchilla in our apartment, and where did it come from?
question nothing. DON'T QUESTION A FREE CHINCHILLA.
i don't remember going ever taking off my pants but my pubes are shaved into a K and kelsey is passed out in the shower.
he only noticed i dyed my hair purple like halfway through sex and he looked really shocked and he just said "You look like Barney." as he came.
What can I say, like your penis. The fact that I like the person attached to it helps too
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