Washing the last semen-stained shirt you have really solidifies a breakup. It just got real.
If the blowjob was before the wedding, we're not technically related, right?
At what point were we discussing suction-cupping a dildo to the wall?
underwater hpnotiq shots? sure why not.
We have to have sex while I'm dressed as a tiger. It's one of my life goals
I attempted to stand up and was quickly reminded by gravity that I am the universe's bitch right now
im so hung over everytime my dog barks the sound vibration makes my whole body hurt
The only reason I can fathom that you've been able to continue to date new people this long is that women continue to become of age each year, and the younger ones don't know any better.
If someone told me one person in the department was secretly a death eater, I would suspect her, no contest.
Our drunk hook up was interrupted by the delivery guy. When he came back to my room we ate the gyros and went back to sex like we didn't take a lunch break.
There's no time frame.
For drinking wine out of the bottle and taking nyquil at 9 AM? There probably should be.
I didn't want to leave, I wanted to move into his ass
I just got dumped by my fuck buddy. Now I have to have sex with my husband.
She told us she had powers and that eating tree bark cures the shits.
All of a sudden he got that look on his face and ran to the dance floor and started fist pumping to Rihanna that kind of night
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