Come find me please? Im in a ditch.
That doesn't help me much...
I'm right under the moon!
I also referred to her clitorous as her "vagina dot" last night...probably going to be dumped soon.
Omg 230 lb butch lesbian with a mustache grabbed my dick. I need an adult
I would've been fine if I didn't do the three shots
You did like 8
So my dad just walked in on me with the same girl twice in 3 nights. I told him if he wants to see her tits to adleast admit it. All he did was smirk.
can anyone on this campus do anything sober?
He sent me a text from across the party that said "your sexy." I just couldn't.
You realize that if you get murdered while we're talking, I'm gonna have to explain to your next of kin why the last thing on your phone is a picture of my boobs.
Just licked cheese from my hot pocket off my phone. I spilled because I was eating a Popsicle at the same time. Send an adult please
When we left, you were on your third beer. When we came back to grab you, you had a pint glass half full of whiskey and had convinced the band to give you a microphone.
At one point I yelled "THIS IS MY PENANCE FOR EVERYTHING I'VE DONE WRONG" and started saying Hail Marys
Woke up with two different pairs of pants in the pockets of a jacket.None of the above are mine.
I feel like the dump I just dropped is the most successful thing I've done so far today.
I'm the one who said we should take things slow. I'm also the one who forced him into the back on my car so we could have sex.
well, i found him passed out on a picnic table two miles away with a lit cig in his hand...he had a rough night
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