highlight from tonight: i hit on her and her mother.
at least after i hook up with someone i have the decency to ignore them
hey I'm just gonna fall asleep in the bathroom at the library call me when you're done with class
After she came with my hands around her neck, she sat there for a minute and gave me the scuba diving sign for a-ok.
Apparently I kept telling people I was a pro tennis player again...
He was carrying a rolled up carpet saying he was saving it for tomorrow's Walk of Fame.
i just feel like the statute of limitations for admitting i plowed through her car last night was up a couple hours ago
Every concussion has its silver lining
No one parties like Jon. He once stole a cops hat, ran like the wind, partied all night with it, and dropped it off at the station the next day with a box of donuts as an appology.
One guy got his nose broke and was playing with it. Then another guy was playing beer pong off his horse.
I'm so cold without your freakishly high body temperature
that's the equivalent to a normal girlfriends. 'I miss you' btw
I don't know what you slipped me, but my TV is vomming blood right now. Thanks, jerkoff.
I got arrested FOR running from the cops. In college Dad got arrested and THEN ran from the cops. So it could be worse.
Do you know how hard it is to have sex on an air matress while there are people sleeping in the same room?!?!?
only 4 hours until nug lovin time
excuse me?
nug lovin. lovin nugs.
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