yes i saw that this morning. it was my mailbox.
well thats why i like him. because he makes you happy. on the other hand i think he masturbates too much while texting you.
That's the last time I fill my pockets with sushi.
I found him down the block clinging to a light post laughing and crying because a house "looked like it had buck teeth"
true friends will drive 3 hours to come smoke a couple blunts with you on the bridge where your car broke down
Best surprise in my car. A cookie, sliced kiwi and the rest of my margarita. Work is going to be awesome.
That chick went from zero to shitshow in only 6 shots.
She got drunk on the air plane and pretended to be an elephant for an hour...Atleast the kid behind us enjoyed it.
Nothing says summer like lemonaid, but nothing says fuck yeah summer like lemonaid and vodkavodka
I feel violated by Miley Cirrus's performance in the VMA's.
Thanks for putting up with my drunk friend last night. Its all fun and games till someone pukes macaroni under your fridge.
Bourbon is too strong for my cat, he does not want to drink it
I just started talking about how noodles were so good
Em I need to know if his cum tastes like vodka. Report back.
I've never sung with balls in my mouth
Randomize
