Yeah..And after he fingered me, he wiped it on my face and laughed.
ew wtf
i hope chris hansen doesn't have a boat
They should make a Rosetta Stone that allows men to understand what the fuck women are actually trying to say.
Her birthday cake consisted of a shot of tequila with a candle in it
I woke up to her vacumming the grass
i just feel like it would be irresponsible for you to not have sex with me again.
My vagina agrees.
Between the hair pulling and the choking its its more like combat than sex
Sorry I have an "Operation Iraqi Freedom" fantasy
somehow he and i always have our deepest conversations after phone sex.
Bring gay.
By that I meant the rum. I just realized that my request made no sense. You always bring gay.
We can't tell anyone we fucked because I'm still trying to get with your friend. Is she coming next weekend?
You told us that you were going to become a 'new man' and threw your tv set out of a window.
the guy in front of me in walmart is buying a blowtorch, potato chips, and condoms. I'm curious and horrified at the same time.
He texted me at 4:30 in the morning saying "I'm not drunk but I think you're beautiful" and then a facebook message at 6 am saying "hi" and the subject was "oh"
In hindsight I shouldn't have been blasting Antichrist Superstar if I didn't want to seem suspicious driving up to a Catholic church
I honestly think sometimes all you need is a $2 alcoholic punch poured from a jug into a big glass to feel better. I guess abblebees is my new problematic fav
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