I just left the house and 2 chicks are in the kitchen making breakfast. Might want to get up.
I'm up, no shirt, and staring at a breakfast casserole. Who are these girls?
i may or may not have puked on your loofa in the shower.
just hang any plant up and call it mistletoe.
I'm promoting my liver to CEO of my body cause it clearly works harder than anything else.
I'd say you were a shitshow. Playing floating beer pong in the pool you kept filling other people's cups with pool water and laughing to yourself.
I want him to rummage through my vagina. with unwashed hands.
Dude, I had no choice. I was defending my genitals.
he puked in the sink and didnt turn off the water before he passed out on the bathroom floor. its been 2 hrs and we finally noticed that the whole fucking house is flooded. to hell with this birthday party
I'm gonna eat you out. But for science
Having weed delivered to your door is like having your own personal Santa Claus
you seriously don't remember..? but then again, you were taking shots by yourself for like 30mins
Dude, naked camping ALWAYS takes precedence. I would skip my own funeral to go naked camping.
You crawled into bed with Bob and started whispering to him about produce.
Got upgraded to First Class and now I’ve got the whole Pacific Ocean to seduce the very hot gentleman sitting next to me!!! Door closing, wish me luck!
If I slept with her my dick would come out glittery
coward.
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