i messed up with two guys last night...one i pranked and left the phone on..the other one i went crazy on trying to be his girlfriend after four jagermeister shots...
Ok so my english teacher told me i could have 5 absences bc of my "problem". I have no idea what she is talking about
just heard this guy tell a story about how he got boat head. i want his life
Only in this snowstorm did have I realized the lengths I'll go to to get laid.
this must be what syphilis tastes like
By the end of the cruise, there was literally nothing in our room he hadn't peed on.
They got their marriage license when they were at the courthouse for her arraignment.
I peed glitter this morning and had a beard drawn on my face with eyeliner. Last time I do shots with gay Dan.
She just passive-aggressively stripped in the kitchen while humming the theme to Doug.
I'm sitting next to some random guy in a gorilla suit drinking out of a bottle of vodka.
He's majoring in Religion
Dude between pissing everywhere and all of those frogs, that bathroom got wrecked.
You can't just call animal control when you're drunk because there is a bug in the shower.
I would go a lot of places to get laid. But I would NOT go to Staten Island.
low point of the night : a cop just busted out laughing at me.
It was very surreal. They were listening to a religious podcast on morality while they both went down on me.
Randomize
