So.. my mom just told me she hasn't gotten laid in 7 years... I'm really disturbed.. at the same time... At least now I know why shes so damn cranky all the damn time
Please don't tell me you're asking me to have sex with your mother.
I don't know where your sunglasses are, I was too preoccupied with girls not old enough to drive past midnight.
Let me start this apology by saying you were the finest piece of ass I ever had.
First off, get on bc solely in preperation for this event. Second, as my little sister you have a lot of whore to live up to.
casually drinking alone with your cats. do they like sparks?
Its... i dont even know. theres lots of rap music and i cant find my shoes
You don't know what lonely is until you've came in an Arby's Napkin
you wouldn't let anybody come in after ten. everybody was standing outside and you just yelled "BEING PUNCTUAL IS IMPORTANT" and slammed the door. i dont think you should be allowed to have parties anymore
it concerns me that i was already that drunk at 10
I asked to see his balls for medical purposes.
I woke up this morning wearing his boxers as a shirt
I feel like I spent all day wearing underpants made entirely of poison ivy and sandpaper
I someohow managed to lose my butt plug in tne midst of moving to B.C. and I am not a happy camper.
Had to admit my broken elbow was caused by vodka, not hockey
the party picked up after I got pretty drunk...I got kicked in the fucking head by a tiny lesbian...she was 5'1" I did not think she could do it...i was very wrong
he asked me for a magic BJ...is that supposed to be different from a normal BJ?
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