Lets evaluate? U kissed one boss and lef twith another man. I cock teased the other, hardcore had a tongue jammed down my throat, made out w aa third then left in a cab w alex w them all yelling at me and offering rides. My cheek was also licked and bitten by 2 other men and we almost made out (u and me) because they asked. were hired.
A little girl and i are having a face making battle in mcdonalds
She started it, but I totally finished it.
Im gonna name my vag after egypt, "the valley of kings"
I can feel you judging me through the phone.
What am I legally allowed to do to a girl that is the equivalent of me punching her in the face?
well when mom kept referring to my "black hole of a vagina" and how i devoured all the nuts at the party like i was a pro, i figured my stay was up.
So we get back to the hotel room and Tom strips off his clothes... His first sexual act as my fiance? Helicopter dick. I gave him a high five.
Today, my boyfriend informed me that I look like my dad when I orgasm
You're always so generous when it comes to your dick.
Yes. That was the exact moment of my conscience clicking into instant high alert.
There is someone out there for you right now. And we will find her. Or him. Her. Her, we'll start with tits.
so you ordered business cards online last night with a picture of your dick on them. you need to hide that new credit card when you drink
I'm drinking on a Thursday because I can
Today is Wednesday you jobless drunk
he came over last night and we fucked with the great british baking show on in the background. it was beautiful
Breakfast sounds amazing but can we do IHOP instead? I have to pick up a Plan B pill and there’s a CVS next to it
Randomize
