If you bang a chick other than your girlfriend while playing tiger woods on xbox I wonder if an accomplishment would come up...
so id say it was a successful trip...i only got hit on by one cousin...
They should try giving mcdonalds to cancer patients because it just cured the worst hangover ive ever had
Oh so it was one of those "I shouldn't have gotten in a cab with a random 21 year old girl" kinda nights.
Besides the whole peeing blood for a week thing, it was the best sex of my life.
Half my face is frozen, my vagina is broken, I'm wearing only gym shorts eating a plate of mashed potatoes, avatar is on my tv. There's a naked guy on my couch whose name idk. I needa talk to you asap
THIS TIME TOMORROW MY VAG IS GONNA BE BRAND SPANKING NEW.
One good thing out of all this is her ass is huge. Like Australia Big.
She just texted me apologizing for taking selfies on my phone then asked me to send them to her
I have just found the cubicle of sustenance. And I will rejoice at all the families that have not found this magic. This vodka cubicle of magic.
that almost beats the chick I saw smoking a joint while uni-cycling past my house at 4am. Almost.
Slap a cop in the butt for a felony charge. Check.
Chasing down vodka with apple juice and crying. Alone.
I love that you put so much thought and effort into your nudes
I don't send half assed nudes. Go big or go home.
So I figured out why that guy from Tinder stopped messaging me back. He got married.
Randomize
