Can we switch to phone sex? This is starting to get awkward...
you went up to their shower, tripped in it, accidentally turned it on and then claimed that you like to "test everyone's showers"
Also, just grabbed a bunch of "tuxedo black" condoms. formal, anyone?
still wasted. at home depot . just threw up in one of the demo showers. not okay.
downstairs . braiding the drunk passed out girls hair, she will thank us In the morning
To drunk to make oatmeal. I'm pouring it into my mouth and gargling it with beer. Ive made maple brown sugar bud light
Haha pretty bummed I didn't stay night yesterday after the bj fest you described
I wish I could like. Pull my liver out, and put it in the corner of a boxing ring, put a towel and ice on it, rub it's shoulders, and tell it to "get back in there, you got this!".
You probably don't remember this but last night I bought you a lap dance from a stripper that had nipples that looked like runny eggs....you're welcome.
And fyi howling is not an acceptable form of communication.
I have a fever. Last thing I need to do tonight is be elbow deep in old lady pussy.
My homemade mace ate through its aluminum container. I make awesome mace.
I am just glad I was home to catch most of it, cause it smells BAD.
I'm not a scientist but that could be because it's homemade mace. That is however just a hypothesis
I don't care if his family has ties to the mafia, you go over there, ride his dick until it breaks off, put his dick back on, and keep on riding. Lather, rinse, repeat.
Thanks for the support, sis.
You gonna smoke this blunt? Or are you gonna keep doing Kung-fu in my kitchen?
it's not rock bottom until you fall down an escalator on the way home from a hookup and have to have you dad come pick your drunkass up at 3am. Adulthood.
Randomize
