the liability waiver did not state that i couldn't bring my bottle of wine in the bouncy castle. it did Not.
sorry i walked in and ruined it, but i had to laugh she looked like a pile of bologna the way you had her pinned up on the wall
the only thing i can think of after seeing avatar is "when are they gonna make avatar porn?"
i am one more weekend without sex away from dosing him with viagra and locking ourselves into a closet.
sitting in my room in a shopping cart. they couldnt get my legs out of the holes. i want breakfast.
You know it was a challenge blowing out the candles. It was hard to think of a wish, while drunk, with a concussion.
High with mom again. She's giving me relationship advice.
This morning on my way to work I saw a guy ride his bike straight into a woman and her dog while trying to light a bowl. Thought of you.
I gave the bike taxi guy a blowjob because I didn't have any cash. College.
I was just going for a one night stand and now I'm at breakfast with his entire family.
In retrospect, vomiting out of a moving vehicle on the third date should have been a deal breaker
God dammit everything I said last night about jungle juice being awesome just does not carry over into the next day
sorry bout the carpet, but you DID call it "blackout punch" not "don't vom on my floor punch"
Watching a guy pay his tab with a check. Jesus dude...
Hey! Its not the first time I've been eaten out in a bridesmaids dress in a church by a groomsman!
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