Call me immediately, my only recent boy news involves me biting a dick.
yeah so i didn't even realize i was on meth until the next morning
There is still throw up in my sink from before break. God I missed this place
we made out inside of a kiddie slide for about 20 mins. it was the sexiest, most suffocating experience I've ever had
we got hammered off table wine and i ended up biting my acrylic nail off so i could finger his butt.. ill never look at valentines day the same
I just googled if crying burns calories
Haha...we lost by one cup to a guy w shitty facial hair. What makes me most mad abt the loss is that I could grow a better beard on my vag.
We get an extra hour of sleep. That means we can take an extra shot tonight. Sound logic. Thank you daylight savings.
After I was kicked out of the last frat I blacked out, woke up in the hospital with no clothes no phone and no idea what happened last night. But i got hospital socks, thats a win in my book.
Yeah! Don't let me leave the house without marijuana and a juicer.
My mom just told me I look like darth vader. how's your night?
You kept flirting with some guy while I was throwing up on the sidewalk, and I screamed YOU DON'T LIKE MEN
Shit is getting real. I just adjusted my search radius for my dating profile to ANY FUCKING WHERE
I’m at that point in my trip where I’m kinda hot, kinda cold and I have to remember to breathe.
It's bullshittery. It's asshattery. It's complete fuckery at its finest.
Randomize
