we were spooning and you were the big spoon but you insisted that I call you "the ladle"
Nothin says happy bday jesus like a shot with your loved ones.
Just discovered Kim Possible porn. Life is now complete.
i'm pretty sure the only people calling it "sexting" are ones who don't actually do it
Even my Russian and Serbian roommates think I drink to much.
I can't look at him without thinking about his cum face
don't worry about it. We passed around the "get jeff bail" can 10 min. After you left. We currently have around $400. May I say that people here at the dorms really love you.
You gotta buy me dinner first. Or smoke me out. Both are equally chivalrous
Can you stop being a bitch and just take some Kaluha shots with me bro?!?
I peed my pants and am still dancing with guys at the club because I liked my outfit too much to change. Call the ratchet emergency
I just wanna be able to fart and do my homework but he won't leave
It was marvelous. I was drunkenly conversing with my professor in some of the best Spanish I've ever spoken.
I ate the crust off the pizza and left the rest in the box. Even I would hate me.
moral of my life: don't tell a guy you want to have sex with him. he'll get back together with his ex.
Just so you know. And I'm telling you this because I care deeply for you. Blue raspberry poptarts taste exactly the same as the regular raspberry ones.
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