you turned your livingroom into a bong?
doesn't matter. i just recorded the power rangers theme song on my phone. and its loud. was thinking we could use it as our entrance song as we walk into bars.
I dreamt I won the Huge Cock Championship last night. It was glorious.
there is way too much butter on my body for this to be okay
This kid is too lonely to be my drug dealer.
I'll pull you in a wagon. You'll have a sash and a crown on and we'll sing "All the Single Ladies"
I told him I was gunna have sex with him in both of our cars at the same time.
he came to me for relationship advice and we ended up fucking in my backseat
Just sitting at dinner with my dad...simultaneously texting "daddy" to confirm saturday's spanking and telling another guy to get condoms before Im done with dinner. Don't know when I got so ate up but I'm loving it. You?
Regretting asking you what you were doing.
Wow dude wow that's sad man so sad. I dno't event wanna massturbate anymore due to teh sadness
Its just akward. Everytime he tells me he loves me, I have to respond with, I love having sex with you. and he just stares at me in amazement
I have hit the ultimate fuck buddy status. We pulled over in a construction zone to have a quickie.
Almost gave the delivery guy a 34 dollar tip. That high
Well now I’m in the bathroom puking up absinthe so guess I beat myself up over it one way or the other
Turns out naked yoga wasn't a pickup line. I feel betrayed.
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