Was going to watch Bolt. Fucked a stranger instead. Details later.
So you didn't like Bolt?
why is it that no matter what your novelty license plate says it always screams "im a huge tool"?
in the car goin home for fam dinner and he is silent... i think he realized how big of a whore his little sister is
Bret has after-school detention for writing Brianna has a stinky vag on the ground at recess.
Clothes are such an inconvenience.
It's too hard to jack off and hold an ipad at the same time
MOMMMMMMMMMMAYYY! YOU BIRFED ME TODAYY. IM CELEBRTIN ON YUR BEHAF! THANK YOU!!!!!
I always hoped you would never inherit this side of my personality. Hon, trust me, you're a mess. Go to bed...alone. xoxoxo
well, the two that sent pics I've already been with, so at least its not just BAM HERE'S MY PENIS IN YOUR INBOX ENJOY THOSE MEGAPIXELS
She dresses cool and she's mean. And she has fake boobs I feel like I can relate to her on so many levels.
New guy at work just gave me a Percocet for my headache. Officially best friends
I have the best idea for a new business. It's going to be called "Lamb-Scape". We are going to cut lawns using lambs. You just put 5 or 6 on a lawn and they eat the grass #allnatural
YOU SAID YOU WERE OUT OF POT
..........
Sloppy and selfish. Your 27 and you don't know where my clit is? BYEEE
I want you to know that the guy who peed in your bed got fat.
I did a trust fall off the bar and then almost got into a knife fight over a push up competition. Just another Tuesday.
You wouldnt listen to us when we told you there was no place that was selling girlscout cookies at 4:30am...
Randomize
