There was this creepy guy on the bus. So I puffed out my stomach & began so hold my stomach like I was preggers.
he told me my hair look so beautiful and as he was stroking it his fingers got caught in my BUMPIT. How are you supposed to explain that one?
In America we eat man semen.
the last thing i remember is unlocking the door. its like i was literally opening the door to my blackout
oh but the power of the cock will take you to places you never been..i flew to hawaii once to sleep witha chick
i wont go near him until the smell goes away , and he takes the chex mix box off his head.
Its not really a relationship, its more of a sex for booze program.
We are going to be Siegfried and Roy for Halloween and you are going to be the tiger.
I'm having Vietnam flashbacks. This Kid I hooked up with is speaking in class and I keep experiencing the terror.
I didn't know what to do so I panicked and puked in my pillowcase with my pillow still inside.
We could put on there: "Drink jager bombs and do stupid shit faster, with more energy!"
Hypothetically speaking - is it bad if you get cut off at an airport bar at 11:30am?
So instead of going to meet her mom, I decided to jump out of her window which was about 1.5 stories off the ground. I'm alright, but I ended up meeting her mom anyway.
Why would you call when you knew I'd be having sex!?
Why would you answer?
Jungle juice breakfast? No? Ok.
Randomize
