i miss vodka and anonymity. college is so rich in both. in college we are a many armed creature, lubricated with beer and sex.
i feel so shallow. people in iran are using twitter to write hardcore nathan hale shit about dying for freedom. my last tweet was "i hate the taco shits"
My Yahoo Answers account was suspended. Apparently I answered "I like chicks who do anal" to over 100 questions last night.
As gay men are we obligated to learn the Single Ladies dance.
Don't you ever say "drinking at 2" as if it's a bad thing again. I'm asking you as a friend here.
I don't appreciate the fact that you tagged me as a giant bucket Miracle Whip.
Went to the wedding reception, and he left with ALL of the brides maids phone numbers. I don't know how he does it either.
I'm thinking he has to buy me dinner at least twice before i even start considering casting him for "Fuck buddy - understudy."
If I get over there and the april fools joke is that there's no HBO, I'm setting fire to the place.
It is a sign that I need a fresh start when Kelly Clarksons new album tells the story of my life.
I was just like oh sorry I'm peeling meanwhile my legs are on either side of his head and I look like a fucking Komodo dragon
He spelled Steven with "ph", needless to say my nose was almost bleeding from the amount of axe he was wearing.
Spoiler alert: my plans for Halloween are going to make our dealer's birthday look like a bunch of mormon ladies having a scrapbooking circle
Adderal can only make me focus so much. Your ass is stronger than my medicine. Congratulations.
some kid just came up 2 me bleeding yelling "thats how u riot"
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