Forget about socially acceptable. Make me happy instead
It feels like he gave my taint an indian burn.
Same, I didn't even get to be tarzan this summer
so, I mean this in the straightest way possible, but don't you ever just feel like you owe Jon Stewart a blowjob...
My Grampa even called her out for being a cock block at the bar...it was that serious
Because if the best sex I've ever had was with a gay guy, then God help me.
I just sniffled when I woke up and got a bump of coke. I have never felt so good hung over.
could hear acupuncture therapist getting blown in the next room over the whale music
I dont know if this is a good time to tell you but im actually a freshman.. not a senior
Why Weren't you wearing pants?
because pants are for people with no imagination
Found an old burrito under my bed
You are a sick fuck
He has been feeding me cheesecake and candy for breakfast. Naked. For three days. How am I ever going to leave????
for once I'd like a one night stand where I don't meet the guys mom or wife in the morning
just went home with a guy that made fun of me in elementary school. this blow job is not going well for him.
How was I supposed to know the accent was fake before i slept with him
Randomize