super hot butfun
Oops. What a difference a comma and a space make.
she started talking about my kids
was she topless?
apparently the 911 operator took drunk dialing waaayy too seriously
I put cups full of chips next to every bed, couch, and toilet so that everyone could have a snack when they woke up....
You kept excitedly announcing to the bar what time it was. Followed by an equally excited "Clock language still makes sense!"
It was the first time I had seen his penis when it wasnt hard. It just looked so vulnerable and a little bit depressed.
I can hear my liver begging me not to go out tonight
it's been dubbed the summer of antibiotics
it was really awkward meeting your mom for the first time while i was still wearing the condom we were using.
WHEN DID YOU SAY YOU COME BACK BC I GOT INVITED TO A KEG WAR PARTY
I'm almost positive that you shat in a birdhouse
I had to switch coats with someone at work because you can see the giant sex choke bruise on my neck. Being kinky is hard.
Is it a problem if I'm trying to condition Goodbye Horses to trigger an erection?
Nothing showshows the government the middle finger more than spending your tax refund on drugs
We made out in front of everyone INCLUDING his girlfriend. And no one saw. THAT DRUNK!
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