Small Doughy Asian men and sleeveless hoodies with nothing underneath do not mix well.
Sounds like the climatic scene of my favorite erotic novel.
I need to surround myself with more reliable stoners...
i did the responsible thing and pissed myself...
I woke up this morning peeing out bubbles . I smell like baby wash . What the hell happened .
He kept waking up periodically throughtout the night to bit my ear and pass back out.
I don't even want to go. i just want to be a hermit and live in a cave with an elephant that pisses vodka
Drunkasaurus has found a new cave to eat all the children she captured
I need to get you away from Bacardi 151 and out from under the bed
let's just skip the pleasantries and go back to my place for pizza and casual sex
it's like my freshman wet dream come true
last night i reached the point where my boob implants paid for themselves in free drinks. to celebrate lets go out and get more free drinks tonite.
there is absolutely nothing wrong with two grown men staying up all night blowing lines drinking white wine and playing call of duty. don't judge me
I'll be an awkward "I've had the grooms penis in my mouth" presence and we can party our nipples off.
I could have sworn that I went home last night... but judging from the couch I just woke up on, apparently not.
He's making me do the dishes for the next month and half because I shit in the bath tub...
Drinking is such a hassle. I wish I could just press a button and be drunk.
Randomize
