Wow so 15 missed calls, a vm AND a text saying come downstairs? ...And where is downstairs? Explain.
Nhdgh I love you very much hello becausevs. Vagina pensiono
the amount of blow i got, New years should last a week.
he's drinking at 8 in the morning. it's going to be one of those "or else the terrorists have won" kinda days
Just kicked a guy in his penis in order to win a dance contest on Bourbon....desperate.
my 3 favorite things in life are tequila, dicks, and making sandwiches. that DOES NOT make me a bad person.
Lost my key. Fell asleep on the doorstep and got woken up by host grandma poking me with a broom.
Lemme guess, I was the one completely shit faced making out with the 50 year old...
LOL, wrong number bro. Good luck trying to figure out what happened though..
She just asked me if I was looser "in the vagina" than her. While gyrating.
Dude, you're only mentioning the Bro Code so I can't get any
My penis is saying yes, several less important organs are saying noo...
I'm just going to have crazy good sex with him until one of us developed feelings that works in the movies right?
Well I can't be held accountable to know every which time you slid a finger here or slid a finger there. I'm way too busy getting close to climaxing to document these things.
The album on my phone containing gross pictures to send when boys ask for nudes is now substantially larger than my normal photo album. Because I send one every night
Don’t fucking talk to that dude from monday!! Ethical consumption dude, don’t fuck shitty guys
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