i cant get the smell of ass out of my nose
Heads up. We filled your kiddie pool with kool-aid and vodka. Things are about to get Out. Of. Hand. Quickly.
i'm forwarding you the dirty picture of that fat girl that likes me sent . i feel like since youre my best friend you should puke in your mouth too .
Ya well here is the deal with last night, it was the Biggest shit show we have ever co-stared in.
Chilling. The soap was talking at one point if I rememeber right...
I'm getting turned down for sex. Apparently my "sexual appetite" cannot be satiated even by a man who's such a deviant he went to prison for jerking off in his car.
If one of us has to be polite I guess I won't sneak out while he's in the shower
Idk woke up on the suite in someone else's clothing and actually broke my ankle
If I stopped drinking I'd have to take up murdering.
It is 5:00PM and I'm just now putting on underwear.
I mean...he danced with his dick still inside of me. What more could a girl ask for?
He stole my heart. I stole his identity.
i was so high when i left this morning that rather than make sandwiches i threw bread and peanut butter in my backpack. a whole loaf. and a whole jar
I'm not sure what happened last night but my dog has a red cup taped to his back with a little beer and a ping pong ball in it..
We invented a new game.
Do you think it's a bad sign of the outcome of the pregnancy test I'm about to take that I was eating a fudgsicle on the way into the drugstore? Would it make worse to tell you I also bought a big ass bag of Cornnuts?
Randomize
