we were exchanging secrets last night... she told me about how she put markers in her vaj in middle school. found a keeper.
I have to collect my sorority sisters from greek row... I hate how being dd is a night and morning job
You are the patron saint of my drinking problem.
Then we all started singing, "Our house, in the middle of the street. Our house, fucks a lot of freshman meat". It was magical.
FOUR LOKO IS YES. SUNDAY MORNING DRUNK IS YES.
We just shotgunned beers for America
Wait..I think something else did happen last night my vagina is too pleased for this level of hangover..
Called my dealer in tears and we talked for an hour until I felt better. That's the way it should be.
But here's the wonderful thing about us. It's us. You could invite me over, get really wasted and end up sleeping with someone else and id be there in the morning to take you to breakfast.
I can't thank you enough for the well-timed blowjob. What a huge improvement in my outlook on the day.
The real estate's complaint had the words "loud squealing at 2am" in it. Then I remembered that was me spoon feeding you guys old potato salad while you screeched like baby birds. Great night.
11% beer and firearms, what could possibly go wrong?
you called me drunk last night to talk about summoning sex demons with magic WTF
wait you fucked a guy who wears k-swiss? seriously?
I know, im living my 7th grade dream
Guy just rode past on a lowrider bike smoking a blunt, I want his life
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