Is it weird that I have contacts who i've classified as DO NOT ANSWER?
Lol no its called college
been home a week and haven't blacked out yet. i miss college
i thought they made a 7-hour walmart run, but they were actually in jail.
i have a wrist watched drawn on my wrist that it says shot o clock
I need moral support for this bender
Turns out the old man beside me in the waiting room was dead, but other then that it was a good day.
my mom just told me I should hit it and quit apparently she does not like this new girl
Do you remember biting my ear and whispering quotes of Pride and Prejudice last night?
I just sneaky put a tampon in on the bus ninja-style.
......how on earth do you do that?
NINJAAAA
future reference: when you get a text that says "WARNING: EXPLICIT PHOTOS BEING DELIVERED. VIEWERS DISCRETION IS ADVISED." you always open the attached picture.
every time someone would wish me happy birthday I would be like "thanks happy birthday to you too"
He gets married Father's Day weekend and I just found out I'm pregnant. What do I do?
He says the sweetest things but also that he wants to choke me when we fuck so it's kinda perfect.
....even the bartender was embarrassed for her
I'm too horny to sleep. I need some violent sex to wind me down.
Randomize
