Ryan Reynolds porn could be a WMD. Have a giant TV on the front of your tank, and just drive around playing it. Everyone dies of orgasm overload.
That's it. Iraq is done. Everyone dies, game over man.
I'm pretty sure "Like A Prayer" will forever remind me of drunk nights & pants down around the ankles
I just remembered I gave $20 to a bum last nite. Philanthropy events always make me do stupid shit.
What I dont get, is for a man with a penis his size, to choose to go back with another girl instead of one that he says is the best sex he's ever had. He cant afford to be picky.
she walked in on me snorting my prozac. there was no way to convince her i was doing a good thing.
THERE WAS A HANDPRINT OF BLOOD ON HIS SHOULDER
some chick tossed a drink in your face at the bar last night. your mouth was opened so i think you ended up swallowing at least half of it. good job.
She sucks enough dick that I could make her mouth a legitimate Yelp location.
Does this mean I don't have to apologize for launching about 20 bead necklaces at you from the balcony?
can't believe I traded a good night's sleep and a midterm for your blurry tits
Plus now I feel weird sleeping with you. It's like shooting a three legged deer. It's already at a disadvantage and couldn't get what it's full potential deserves.
The fact that he quoted freebird as his breakup speech was a little more classy than expected
I threw up in a wendys bag in her car. when i went to throw it out the window it exploded all over me. No I don't think there will be a second date.
I wore Yonce braids out last night and made out with a man and a woman #bowdown is right
You snapped me at 3am drunk laying on your floor asking if I knew how we couldn't have predicted the housing crisis.
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